Why are certain things out of your comfort zone? What’s holding you back? After all, there’s a reason you always need a wingman (or woman) with you when you go to parties, or why you’ll never try parasailing on vacation, even though you know you’d have fun.
Now, imagine your life in which you feel confident enough to try a new sport, or take the riskier business deal, or ask for the raise you know you deserve.
Is it possible to get out of your own way? The answer is a resounding yes. Here is a list of ways that you can break out of your insecurities and start feeling more confident today.
Stand Tall
Turns out Mom was right when she said told you to “sit up straight” and keep your shoulders back. Experts agree that great posture equals greater confidence. So, stand tall. Use your body to trick your mind, and before long you’ll be one inch closer to a more confident version of yourself.
Play the Mental Game
Think about one moment that you completely owned. There must have been at least one. Like that time you gave the perfect toast at your friend’s wedding or landed that sweet summer gig. Just a few minutes of thinking back on these successes can boost your confidence, helping you arrive anywhere feeling your best.
Speak Up
What hurts confidence more than being caught totally off guard? Don’t be afraid to ask questions. If it’s a party, ask the host or hostess questions to get the answers you need. Is the party BYOB? What’s the dress code? Knowing these details allows you to be one step ahead of the game from the moment you arrive.
Prepare Yourself
Feel confident in public knowing that you are as prepared as possible. For smokeless tobacco users, this means investing in the accoutrements you need to do your thing. Check out the sleek portable spittoons made by FLASR, an Atlanta-based company that specializes in these types of trendy accessories.\
It starts when you receive the invitation in the mail—either your computer’s inbox or the one that your junk mail gets delivered to.
That complex social problem of being asked to a party.
Do you bring the host or hostess something? If so, what? Is wine too pretentious? Perhaps craft beer, or is that elitist? And what to wear? Is it a casual gathering or a dinner party where at least a sport coat is needed? Is it acceptable to add a plus-one, since you just started dating the potential man or woman of your dreams?
While modern-day society may no longer follow the dictates of Emily Post’s rules of etiquette, there’s nothing like a fete to throw many of us into an internal tailspin.
To help navigate the often frustratingly unclear rules of attending a party—be it cocktail, dinner or a child’s birthday—the following tips can help:
• Call to RSVP. The French may not have a corner on manners, but they do know respondez s’il vous plait, or please reply. This is essential for the host to get an accurate headcount. Not to do so, is considered rude and inconsiderate.
• Decode the dress. Is it a formal affair that require tuxes and dresses, or a more casual, anything goes party? If you’re unsure, it’s never inappropriate to ask the hostess.
• Go dateless. Unless specifically stated, it is considered impolite to bring an uninvited guest or to ask if you can bring another. If you can bring a date, remember to RSVP for them, or conversely, if you accepted for your guest, and plans change, let the host know that as well.
• Hold your liquor. While you may want to imbibe all the free-flowing alcohol, avoid drinking to excess. Nothing is more disrespectful and intolerable than a drunk party guest, particularly at more upscale affairs.
• Take what you need to feel comfortable. For some that’s a small bottle of aspirin to ward off a headache, a pair of more comfortable shoes discreetly hidden in the folds of a coat, an embroidered handkerchief rather than bulky tissue, or if you’re a smokeless tobacco user, something other than a spit cup or bottle.